MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

Jun
13thNew Contender: Whisper

Name: Whisper (Identity confirmed)

This is a bit of new one really (not the cat but the referral methodology). Whisper has been referred by someone who knows him rather than his owner. Based on this we are going to assume that there isn’t the same level of bias that we have come to expect.

1. Agility – 8/10
   • Whisper can effortlessly leap 6 feet up in the air to the top of a fence (albeit with the help of a box). You see how cold hard facts with proper measurement results in decent points?
2. Health & Vitality – 5/10
   • We’ve been told that Whisper is considered healthy because of some sort of twinkle in his eyes. We have asked the internet and are pretty sure that twinkle is in fact not a medical term. Regardless of twinkle claims we think Whisper has cold dead eyes. Neutral points.
3. Home invasion – 9/10
   • We are getting some pretty high scores on home invasion with the last few cats. Whisper is no less of a winner. It is sign of a great cat if it tries to move in with you. We understand that Whisper regards Clarence Road as his own personal playground and have awarded points accordingly.
4. Meow – 1/10
   • There is no verifiable record of Whisper meowing. In a somewhat desperate plea the referrer makes some fanciful claim that he just doesn’t want to. We don’t deal in supposition. We deal in evidence.
5. Fighting Ability – 5/10
   • Whisper has one verifiable kill to his name. It was a bird which is obviously pretty tricky as they spend most of their time in the air. Unlike mice which are generally closer to the ground. We don’t know what whisper would be like at thumping other cats but we do think he looks a bit tasty.
6. Overall cuteness – 4/10
   • We’d be lying to you if we said Whisper was cute. It would be a pointless lie as you’d just look at the picture and expose us in front of everyone. If there were points for looking a bit scary then Whisper would have got them. There aren’t.
7. Friendliness – 10/10
   • We’re taking this on trust. Apparently Whisper is very friendly. It might be some sort of compensation thing because he looks a bit mean. We would certainly like some external validation on this one.
8. Dignity – 6/10
   • A tricky one this. He looks quite dignified. He certainly seems to be tolerating a bit of a tickle in the picture.
9. Intelligence – 5/10
   • Not a brilliant intelligence score and largely just supporting the previous home invasion score. We just don’t know how clever this cat is and we’re not about to throw points at a picture.
10. Remaining lives – 6/10
    • Whisper is an out and about sort of cat. Who knows what sights he’s seen and what tales he could tell us? Probably nobody as he apparently doesn’t make a sound. We’ve given him the benfefit of the doubt with this one.

Summary: 57%

We’re quite surprised by Whispers score. It’s certainly evidence that we don’t just throw points at the pretty cats.

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