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New Contender: Kit
Name: Kit (Identity confirmed)We usually refrain from commenting on a cats name, after all a cat doesn’t pick its own name. In the case of Kit we hope he is named as a tribute to Knight Rider rather than a poor chocolate based pun. A cats identity should not be the basis of a pun.
- Agility – 7/10
- Kit takes an active interest in building, he doesn’t build but he does supervise. He once helped a roofer build a conservatory. Imagine, you’re completely lost in a world of roofing tiles and a little cat comes trotting along the very apex of the roof to see how you are. Wouldn’t that be about the most gratifying point of your roofing career? Apparently Kit did this all the time and really annoyed the roofer, but the first time, that must have been brilliant.
- Health & Vitality – 4/10
- There is absolutely no polite way of putting this. When Kit was born, it was difficult to tell what sex he was/is. Now we can understand that gender ambiguity in the first few days and weeks does happen, but six months? This clearly doesn’t mean that Kit is unhealthy, but you have to remember this is vitality as well. We think his coat is very shiny if that helps.
- Home invasion – 8/10
- He will hop through anyone’s window. This is not a euphemism. This could actually be considered the very definition of reckless. Interestingly he really likes to have a look round in cars and vans. We like this as it shows a determined sense of adventure. Stowing away in a car would probably be tricky but nip under a box in the back of a van and try and imagine all the places you could end up? Probably none of them good if you want to be back in time for tea.
- Meow – 7/10
- Kit’s owners misrepresent his meow as a bit shrill. You can’t silence a cats voice. It is rare that they ever see a need to communicate with us, so to then discount that as shrill or squeaky is grossly unfair. Maybe he is pretending to be a little mouse, maybe it is a finely honed predatory instinct, maybe it is an unintended consequence of inappropriate gender assignment. Who knows? We do know it probably means you have to spend less money on whistles.
- Fighting Ability – 8/10
- He catches and eats rabbits. Rabbits are massive (well some rabbits are massive), he even once caught a hare. Hare’s are as swift as the wind and as dangerous as a……. we have no idea whether or not they are dangerous, we imagine they are a bit dangerous. We do know that they use greyhounds to catch hares and they’re very quick. Kit is quicker.
- Overall cuteness – 5/10
- He’s alright, we don’t wish to generalise but we’re not that taken with long haired cats. Having a bushy mane seems a bit redundant now we have central heating. Conversely we find the cats with no hair a bit creepy, there you go, somewhere in the middle is just right for us.
- Friendliness – 6/10
- Politeness is something that should always be rewarded, be it helping out with visiting trades people or just a general visit to see if you are OK. Kit is known to sit on random strangers laps and whilst some might see this as friendly in all likely hood it is little more than a quest for warmth.
- Dignity – 3/10
- Kit once ended up at the vets because he got the packaging from a Christmas Tree stuck in his throat. Eating stuff that isn’t food is ridiculous behaviour, especially if it results in a general anaesthetic and being cut open.
- Intelligence – 6/10
- We don’t really know what to make of this, we like to imagine that every cat has a secret power that sets them apart from all other cats. It’s a reckless fantasy but has been suddenly given some credence by the arrival of Kit. Kit, apparently, is very aware of prawns. He just knows….about prawns. Imagine if that power got into the wrong hands, what utter mayhem could happen?
- Remaining lives – 8/10
- A close encounter with a Christmas Tree, a desire to see the world from the back of a van, no fear of the mighty hare. Kit lives life on the edge, as you can see from his rooftop antics sometimes literally.
Summary: 62%
We hope that Kit doesn’t take some of the comments to heart. This is a very good score and puts him firmly into top percentile (we don’t really know what this means) of all cats. There is room for improvement though we admit some of that comes from our own prejudice.
- Agility – 7/10
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