MeowseleyTurning Cats into Facts

Jun
20thNew Contender: Pebbledash

Name: Pebbledash (Identity confirmed)

1. Agility – 7/10
   • Pebbledash is more than capable of getting on top of a shed roof, apparently. That’s quite impressive. Sheds do tend to be quite high. We probably couldn’t do it, having said that we have no idea how high the shed actually is. It might be one of those pretend sheds they sell in Homebase. That would be a bit rubbish.
2. Health & Vitality – 8/10
   •  Apparently an indication of how healthy Pebbledash is, is the fact that she abuses Valerian. This has put us in a bit of a tricky position. We could nod wisely and give a good score or we could just admit that we haven’t got a bloody clue what Valerian is. 8 points probably indicates which way we’ve gone with this one.
3. Home invasion – 8/10
   • This made us chuckle. Pebbledash used to think that nextdoor’s settee was actually hers. Brilliant.
4. Meow – 6/10
   • Rather than a proper meow Pebbledash prefers to trill. This is the sort of behaviour we would expect from some sort of budgie but it’s worth a reward.
5. Fighting Ability – 7/10
   • Although we are dubious about her ability to take on other cats we do know that she has taken down a magpie. This is good. As we all know the magpie is one of nature’s bastards. Any animal that was intrumental in Tommy Boyd’s TV travesty should be killed on sight.
6. Overall cuteness – 8/10
   • Pebbledash is undeniaby cute. We once saw her fall asleep on top of a radiator. Can you imagine how cute that looked?
7. Friendliness – 8/10
   • We’ve always found Pebbledash very friendly. She is more than happy to sit on your lap which is pretty friendly really. Apparently she used to run away from everyone she met. She must have mellowed with age.
8. Dignity – 4/10
   • We think there is going to be a dispute about this one. We don’t think Pebbledash has much in the way of dignity. She sleeps on radiators, it’s cute but not dignified. We expect a riot of indignation on this point.
9. Intelligence – 4/10
   • It’s strange that people can interpret intelligence in different ways. Pebbledash’s owners believe that as she is never fooled by the rattling of the dried food box then she is clever. We dispute this. If she doesn’t know a tasty snack when she hears one then she is on to a loser.
10. Remaining lives – 7/10
    • Pebbledash is a lovely old cat. She’s kept her looks and she’s been about.

Summary: 67%

Pebbledash has set a score that other cats should see as a thing of awe and beauty.

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