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New Contender: Brown Cat
Name: Brown Cat (Identity not confirmed)- Agility -4/10
- Brown Cat wanders about like he’s lost something. He seems fairly good at getting up and down fences but nothing really special.
- Health & Vitality – 5/10
- Is being really really hairy a sign of being healthy? Probably not. He spends a lot of time sitting in the rain and that can’t be good for you if you’re that hairy. Having said that the extra weight he carries around in rain water is probably good for muscle development.
- Home invasion – 6/10
- All available evidence indicates that Brown Cat doesn’t even have a home of his own so he’s always on the lookout for a new place to have a kip. He is well known as a cat that tries to beg his way into a house with his pitiful meow.
- Meow – 7/10
- As stated above his meow is a bit pathetic but fair play to him he does have one and he uses it to good affect.
- Fighting Ability – 4/10
- There is little or no evidence of Brown Cat having any fighting ability whatsoever. He’s scared of Edward which means that in the social order of cats he is pretty well at the bottom. It both saddens and sickens us to see a cat that has sunk to this level.
- Overall cuteness – 7/10
- Brown Cat is fairly cute. A bit brown but that in itself isn’t a reason to mark him down.
- Friendliness – 3/10
- There just isn’t much that Brown Cat isn’t scared of. He isn’t very friendly and you’ll usually see him legging it like a crazy man if anyone tries to say hello to him.
- Dignity – 4/10
- Brown Cat hasn’t got much in the way of dignity. Let’s face it we couldn’t even be arsed to make up a decent name for him so…….
- Intelligence – 3/10
- Brown Cat isn’t very clever. He has as a bit of a vacant hungry look, much like a fat kid with a packet of Monster Munch.
- Remaining lives – 6/10
- For a cat to be this nervous something pretty terrible must have happened to him at some point. We don’t know what it was but we can guess. We’ve given him some points for a ridiculously exciting life story that we’ve made up in our heads.
Summary: 49%
We don’t know what it is about Brown Cat but we don’t really like him much. It’s not that he’s ever done anything really wrong he’s just irritating.
- Agility -4/10
- ‹ New Contender: Frank (Formerly known as Errol)Emergency Request: Fraggle ›
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Brown Cat is plainly homeless. Maybe instead of assessing him cooly in his struggle for survival you could give him a few quid or a bed for the night. Or some skag.